Friday, January 16, 2009

The worst Betrayal


Generally when we are low or when some one betrays us the first person we look to share our feelings is our friend. A best friend. But what if your own best friend lets you down.
Isnt it the worst betrayal you could ever face and at the end of it what is the lesson learnt.
How could some one who has spent time with us, understanding us and having been a good friend to us suddenly can let us down and even allow others to talk bad about us. Does that mean friendship holds no responsibility.



Some people we meet leave foot prints in our heart but some just leave some cracks in a delicate heart which never could be healed.



Could never blame those who behave in a way to break our heart but have to blame ourselves for letting our heart be so vulnerable.



Broken hearts can be healed though it leaves the mark it has made always.



Happen to read a poem written by a friend who has betrayed his best friend.



An echo fades into the night,


an eerie mournful sound.


A shooting star disappears from sight,


and I crumble to the ground.




There is no life within this garden;


my sobs are the only sound.


I have poisoned the honeyed fountain


where your love could be found.



Dazed, I stare at the stars above,


my grieving howls fill the night!


Unintended betrayal of love has


hidden you from my sight.




I remember how it used to be


when we shared our fears and delights.


You are a treasured friend to me.


How can I make things right?



Feeling afraid, cold and lonely,


I long to tell you how I feel,


but you don?t want to hear me.


The pain for you is much too real.




Should I back away and build a wall


and block away how I feel?


Or, should I give you a call?


We both need some time to heal.



An echo fades into the night as our friendship disappears.


How do I know what is right? How can I ease my fears?


If I do call you again, would the old wounds reappear?


I can?t stand to cause you pain. Hurting you again is my worst fear!

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Kabi Kabi Aditi...Does Friendship Matter


Well I happened to hear this song only couple of weeks before and i guess as of now I have heard it more than 1000 times..Just loved the simple lyrics and foot tapping music and the wonderful lyrics. What impressed me more is the personal touch of the song..where almost in everysentence the name aditi was mentioned. Now you might wonder what is the relationship of this song and the tile does friendship matters?


I happen to hear this song by sheer coincidence when I was absolutely upset with my very best friend. My best friend sent me a one line mail saying the friendship is over between us as I have other personal problems and hence could no longber be friend of yours. That too just a day before my anniversary I got this mail. I was shocked and upset.And even tried very hard to continue the friendship.For it takes years to get a good friend with whom we could be ourselves share the same wavelength and be caring and courteous and at times take for granted but just moments to break it.Though my heart was broken I didnt want to give up on my best friend. I wouldnt even wanted to bring my self respect or ego to crash a wonderful friendship. But nothing worked. After that mail from my friend I tried for couple of weeks to sustain our friendship through mails,sms and phone calls. But finally I was forced to give up because at times I understand that the care for each other seems more important than the need for each other. May be today my friend doesnt need me anymore.Though I need my best friend always and a pure friendship always but if its going to be a burden for my friend, I dont want to force it anymore. So its over now. But it hurts. Hurts a lot.


It has caused a great pain in me and even I now kind of feel that I dont understand what friendship is and I learnt a lesson that you should never be emotional. But what to do. For some unlucky souls like me its not the brain which does the thinking but its the heart that thinks. But another big question is how could friendship matter when you are reaching thirty. Where is the time for a woman to maintain friendship when there is demanding responsibilites at home and work. Well I couldnt answer any. All I was thinking so far is each relationship we have is precious. Each single person we meet have come to our lives for some purpose. And no matter what, we should never give up on one relationship just because we have got a new relationship. No one has the right to hurt others feelings.


With all these hurts and heavy heart, I have learnt one big lesson that we should never depend on others for our happiness. No one really needs anyone. Every one is a individual and can come and go in our lives as they please. The sooner we learn to accept this fact we could be more strong and infact more happier.Though I have understood this I am still trying hard to accept this. But till then it still hurts a lot.And I still miss my friend a lot and still care for my friend a lot more. And I end this up with a small poem to my friend MY LOST FRIEND...BUT STILL MY BEST FRIEND(FOR ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE SHARED).


You My Friend

You my friend

You don't always show it, but I know that you care.


You My friend If I'd ever need you, I know you'd be there.I'm glad you're my friend.

Your smile makes me smile. Your pain makes me hurt.


You My friend I want you to know: If you need me--I'm there.

To make you happy, make you laugh.


You My friend Sometimes you make me mad, but I can't stay mad.


You My friend Sometimes I want to get away from you. And sometimes there's nothing I want more than: to talk to you, to tell you about my day, to hear about yours, to laugh with you, to tease you, to share an inside joke, that no one else would get, to argue with you, but know we're just kidding..


You My friend Do you remember the time when...? There are so many times.


You My friend Don't ever lose the wonderful person you are. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay you.


You My friend I'll never stop being your friend. Don't ever stop being mine.


You My friend Just wanted to tell you: I care.


Thats it...And at the same time Thanks for A.R.Rehman and for the lyricist and singer of the song kabi kabi aditi...It kind of really boosted me up when I was depressed.