The Boquet

I just opened the shop when I saw him. It was not a special day. Not a valentines day or mothers day or fathers day where people would come to my shop and buy boquets and on top of it is actually not a good day in the calendar too. Its Friday the 13th which is actually considered as a bad day to many. So who is going to come and buy boquets today unless I buy something for myself. Amongs these thoughts I saw him. He was staring my shop for long time. This already seems to be a nice day and on top of it I have no time to manage any adventure today. Oh no..The only other person in the shop used to be the lady who comes to clean up the shop. Yesterday she told me that she needed leave today and I had asked her not to come too. How stupid of me.
I opened this shop just opposite to the bus stop and in college road because that is where my target customers are. Most of the time its students who would crowd my small boquet shop either to give boquets for their favorite professors or to friends or lovers or what not. But holiday season already started and not much students around and in this sunny lonely day all I am left is with roses in my desk and a staring guy in the bus stop. It made me feel really uncomfortable.I went in and sprinkled water on all those beautiful flowers and again I looked into that guy.
He was still standing there but thankfully not staring at me or my shop. He was tall stout and really dark. He doesnt look clean and I dont know when was the last time he would have washed his clothes. He looked that dirty. I guess idle mind is devils workshop and my mind already started imagining 100 things about him. Was he there genuinely waiting for the bus. It doesnt seem so because all the buses that pass through the route already had passed but he was still standing there. So it did seem that he is not waiting for bus. Then what else..is he there to steal something or to create any issue. And the college also is not working today and the road was completely aloof without anyone except him. And ya there is a me, the only person who has a shop in the college road. May be I should close and go home and come back later. I am sure, Friday the 13th is ofcourse a bad day. I never used to believe in such stupid sentiments but things are really weird. Is it normal to have someone looking so rough staring at your shop for alteast an hour almost.
When I looked up again, thankfully he was gone. He was no longer in the bus stop. I just felt like a big relief. But it didnt last a second as this guy was now standing in front of my shop. I started to sweat. I had never felt such a fear in my life before. And this guy happily walked into the shop. I was just thinking that the best way is to hand over all the cash to him and any jewellery I have and then ask him to leave. But before I could say anything, he started to show me some flowers.He was not talking anything. He just showed me some pink roses, orchids and white lillies. He was just showing me in action and I asked him if he wanted me to make a boquet of those flowers and told him that would be very costly(how did I get the courage to tell that to him). He smiled and asked me how much all in action. I told him it would cost 500 bucks.He gave me 500 bucks and bought the boquet I made and left smiling. I could not believe any of it. After he left, I got few more orders in the phone for boquets. So I made them and finally sent them for delivery. I was still wondering about the guy who came, who looked so rough and what he would do with the boquet and why he was not talking. A close look at him, he indeed was not dirty. He was just wearing dark clothes. Anyways a strange day.
The next day I saw my cleaning lady. she was keeping orchid flower on her hair. I was bit irritated. I told her, Valli...Orchid flowers are very costly and you are taking them and keeping it for your hair. If you see a flower dropped down, please take it and keep it on the tray. She smiled and said No Mam. This flower is indeed from this shop. Last month before I told my husband that of all the places I work as helper the best place I like is your shop. It is full of lillies, roses and orchids but never anyone has ever given me a boquet or I dont own a single flower also.She was almost blushing. She continued Yesterday my husband asked me to stay at home and rest. And he came home with a boquet of all these flowers.He neednt have spent so much. She was still blushing and I smiled. It felt so nice, not just she but even the guy whom I saw yesterday suddenly felt like one of the handsome guys.
Well, Beauty is something inside. something about your heart and not about the way you look.Looks are deceptive. I felt so happy..happy for her and nice about that guy.Friday the 13th...it might have made her day...it might have made his day to see the person he loved happy because of her.Ignorance and Innocence are indeed bliss.
Oh well...now thinking about that..no one ever gifted me a boquet too and I own this boquet shop!!!! Guess The time has come to look for the forever friend :).

Innocence

Today I took my daughter to play area when I met a tamil family there. The mother was busy talking in phone and her two kids were playing in the play area. The younger one should be around 3 years while the elder must be around 6 to 7 years. The thing is now a days kids are becoming matured in a faster pace. The innocence which is there in kids are no longer there. Actually in movies if you watch, kids will be talking and planning like my god as if they are too old. That maturity in the way they talk seems too much for their age and it actually lacks any beauty. I thought its only in movies but even in reality its like that. They have more exposure and get to learn things fast but in the end the beauty of the innocence is lost.
In Tamil there is a scholar and poet thiruvalluvar. In his thirukkural he has said"Kuzhal inidhu yaazh inidu enbar tham makkal mazhai sol keladhavar"
which means people those who hasnt heard their babies voice will keep telling that the divinity is in musical insturments like flute or veena. But see the kids at this age.They already know before 2 years on how to dominate people, whom to dominate, how to get things done and the way they handle gadgets even I cannot. My daughter the minute my husband comes home she will tell, Dad give me your i-phone and she will start playing games for sometime. One way it looks nice to see her doing all this because yeah its a competitive world and the sooner you learn the better you are. But how long these kids will hold their innocence. There definitely is a beauty in that.
Whenever I go to play area and see the kids playing the way they talk in a way amused me but again makes me feel a bit sad too. I feel they miss the way we enjoyed our childhood. How many times we would have passed a toy shop longing for a toy and then getting it after requesting our parents for long time and when we get it the happiness would last for a long time. The way we wait for our cousins , for summer holidays, to go to park there were happiness in so many simple things. But now a days even before our kids ask for it we are giving them all they need at times more than what they need that I dont know if they will learn to appreciate what they have. How does it sound when a 5 year or 6 year kid yells at their parents or talk about things which are just beyond their age. It doesnt really look or feel nice.
Now coming back again to the kid I saw, as I was telling these kids were all too matured in the way they talk and act. But this girl came and told me, Aunty my sister dont know english. And then I started talking to her in Tamil. She wanted to play hide and seek and was explaining the game to me.She has just reached singapore and is basically from a village. The way she explained the game and how she used to play in India in her home town, it was so nice. I could sense the innocence in her voice the beauty of being a kid the joy of ignorance, there is a saying right Ignorance is bliss. It was so touching. I just loved it. There I see my daughter just 2 and half years old playing and telling rules to the other kid. I jsut pray that let her innocence stay for a little longer time so that she is not touched by the cruelties and competitoins of this world.

The Long Wait

The longest moments of our lives would be those when we wait for someone or something.Be it as simple as waiting for a bus or as serious as our interview or exam results which might change our lives. Now when I talk about bus, somehow Murphys law always seems right when it comes to me. Anytime when I wait for a bus, the bus would come within 2 minutes but in the opposite direction. Same happens when I wait for a cab. If I wait in a long queue there will be so many cabs coming but it would stop coming exactly when it is my turn. The only solace or hope I would be left with is ... God!!! please make the person standing next to me as lucky.

Well the other thing is in the end of a long wait if something positive happens then atleast its worth the wait. But sometimes we wait for something which is never going to happen and feel sad about it.Now when it comes to waiting, I just want to share few moments of my life which I would never forget. If I think of it, it feels as though they all happend just few days back.
As kids we wait for the exams to get over, wait for summer holidays , wait for the outings to go and for cousins to arrive , wait for play time, wait at home for parents to come and what not. As we grow older we still keep waiting but wait for different other set of reasons.

The drawback of both parents working is that kids miss us. My parents since both of them were working never had time to attend any of my school annual day function or sports day. Most of the time it will be in a week day and they would miss it. But my ammamma is a source of inspiration. She would encourage me to pariticipate in everything. All she would say is winning is not important but participating is more important.So I used to take part in every competition I know of. And it was in my eleventh standard , I guess I won prizes in almost all the competitions I participated. Lady luck was by my side probably. Then my teacher called me and said that my parents should come to the annual day.It was a saturday. I had to go to school by 3:00 to get dressed up for a dance performance. I asked my mom to come for the culturals at 6:00.From 6:00 I was standing near the gate waiting for her to come. My turn came for performance, I just danced and again came back to the door waiting. And then came prize distribution after that, the chief guest speech, they called for my mother.But she was not there, and my teacher was asking for her. In the end my friends mom went to the stage and collected the shield for me with me. She couldnt come because she was held up in a meeting but that was one of the days which felt like a never ending wait.

After that when I was pregnant, the first three months every time I go and see the doctor to get the scan done, it would be alteast a minimum of 1 to 2 hours wait and till three months the doctor was telling I should be very carefull and she can confirm anything only after 3 months. So till I go inside and get the scan done, I could just feel my heart beating fast but the clock never ticking. And after the three months, then it was during my delivery. I had pains for 2 days and the longest nights were those when there is pain and no electircity at home and people around are sleeping. But that was all worth the wait and when I saw my angel princess all those waits and all those pains were all felt worth the wait. And the miracle is that you never remember the pain immediately after seeing your child.

But these waits in hospitals are really the most unfortunate moments of everyones life. Becuase the next thing is when my husband had to undergo a surgery. Waiting outside the operation theatre was like really hell. I dont even want to write about it and I just pray that no one ever should go through such a situation.

Now coming to the lighter side,now these waits, which make the moments as the longest moments like einsteins theory of relativity,how do we get over them. How do we do something productive in those moments because idle mind becomes devil's workshop. Well that I have to work upon too because the only two things I used to do it is to read a novel or listen to music. Anyways, whatever it is we cannot escape these waits. Sometimes we wait for someone to leave while sometimes we are desperate in waiting to see someone and hoping that the time when we are with them last forever.So wait!!!! Dont get bored. Am completing this topic here. Let all the waits be worth the wait for you all.

A Beautiful Mind

Not just the title of the movie, but the movie itself is just beautiful. It was like reading a poem, feeling a music and a just nice movie. I watched it twice. The first time, I just watched the movie. But the second time when I saw, I could notice all those minute details also which were like wow impressive.
Coming to the story of this movie, well it is based on the life of Noble Laurette John Nash. The movie is about how the young Nash becomes schizophrenic and how he has to go through the disease and what is the impact it brings on his wife and friends. It becomes really sad when he has to watch the burden he is being on his wife and his friends. The movie is just not about numbers and how genius Nash is but it also tells about unconditional love and trust.

How nice it is to fall in love and be loved unconditionally.

The story is about Nash, who is good at numbers but a introvert guy and is never good with people. When he arrives at Princeton University he meets Charles his room mate who becomes his best friend. But the irony is that, there is no Charles. That was just his delusion. Later he meets Charles's nephew Marcee who also is not a real person but part of Nash's delusion.
Later he meets one of his students Alicia and both fell in love and get married. And Nash gets his hallucinations worse where he is being taunted by some Parcher who is the head of United States Department of Defence. Nash has to work for Parcher by reading the daily magazines and journals to find any secret codes or messages being sent. Now that is all his illusion and he works on it until one day he imagines being followed by Russians and he thinks they are going to kill him.

That is when Alicia takes him to psychiatrist and he gets treated with meds and insulin shock therapy. Ideally all those messages he has decoded Nash used to put in one secret mail box which Alicia opens and shows Nash that they are all unopened and it is all his illusion. But Nash finds it difficult to believe Alicia and he thinks even that as a plot by Russians.

Finally when Parcher and Charles force Nash to kill Alicia since she now knows the secret that Nash sees Marcee the little girl and suddenly realizes that over the years Marcee has never grown up and she still is a small girl and then he realizes that he is actually imagining those characters. But since the medicines he takes worsens his relationship with his wife and also with Mathematics he tells his wife that he will apply his mind when he sees those characters and she supports him. In the end Nash lives his life , he still sees those characters who talk to him and taunts him but he manages to live with it and also manages to become a most respected Professor who also finally awarded Nobel prize for game theory. That is how the movie ends.

Now the fine moments of the movie which I just adored are lots but to tell about quite a few..

There is one scene about how you value people and value the things that they give. In one scene Nash takes Alicia to a art gallery during their courtship and Alicia just keeps a kerchief on his pocket. And Nash was busy seeing people talking to them while Alicia was watching a painting and she explains Nash that she loves colours. It looked as if Nash was self absorbed becoz he doesnt reply anything to Alicia but on her birthday he gifts her with a crystal and he tells her this crystal will reflect all the colors. It was just a nice moment and when Alicia replies him with a surprise that she never realized Nash was listening.. and also he always keeps the kerchief with him.When Alicia tells him that she gave him the kerchief since she thinks that it would bring luck, he replies that he doesnt belive in luck but he values it because it was given to him by her. He values people and things.That was really touching. And throughout when he has to suffer, it impacts Alicia also but she never gives up on him. She continues to live with him and support him. And in the last scene when all his fellow professors come and honour him by putting their pen down , it was like wow, it just brought tears in eyes.

Overall it might look like some slow movie but its a nice , good and wonderful movie.

Actually one of the important life of lesson about not giving up on our loved ones is what I liked about the movie.At times we avoid our loved ones when they need us the most because we are afraid of seeing them in pain.We feel that we cant take it and we dont have energy to see them suffer and so we avoid them or avoid being in that situation.

Actually if our loved ones suffer in pain then its more painful to just watch them suffer the pain and feel helpless.I had felt it when my grand dad was not well and I was afraid to be with him. I was really scared and felt helpless.Sameway when my grand ma was not well I wanted to be with her but unfortunately before I could reach she left me.

When I was in college as part of NSS we had to go to Royapettah Govt hospital and do service for the patients. I had seen one young guy who was in AIDs ward. It was only then the awareness of AIDS was among people but still many were not clear. There was a misconception that if you even be anywhere near the patient you will fall sick. So we had to get special permission letter from our parents to go to the ward and do counselling. I had forged a letter as if signed by my father and had gone there for atleast 3 weeks. It was really really sad to see that young guy dying out of AIDS for no fault of his He had met with accident and blood transfusion had caused it to him. And the moment they realized he was having AIDs his own parents had left him there. He was like one orphan. He used to talk to me in a different tamil. The first day I was with him.he was really arrogant. Later he was okay to talk to me. We kind of became even like good buddies. His name was senthilnathan. But it was just for 3 weeks after which I could not go there and also he was transferred to different hospital and unfortunately I dont know what had happened to him. But when I was there, it felt sad because when he was sick all he needed was his parents and those loved ones around him. He had a good sense of humour and was able to even laugh with me. But I could sense the sadness in his eyes. It would trouble your heart in a very different way. It was like after I spend an hour and come out of hospital , the whole day used to be very depressing. Where I am fighting with my sis for small petty things and worrying about my exam marks and where a guy who is younger to me has to face death alone!!! Even to write it sends a shiver inside.

Now coming back to the movie..well..It is really worth watching and worth the oscars it has won especially Russel Crowe for his wonderful expressions. He has lived the character of Nash.

In the end,May be you need not only beautiful mind but also lots of tolerance.May be instead of asking Why me God? should we pray Give me the courage Lord!!!

Life is filled with moments and certain things cannot be changed. So the best way is to atleast act happy and may be you would really be happy. Its all in the attitude to make those moments into precious moments.

Love All. Serve All.