Marina - I miss you

{Warning - This is a badly written one...Not that my other scribblings are great. But this is written sometime back and is
incomplete..but I had been quite for quite a long time in my blog. So want to break the ice :) }
Marina Beach...It has been not just a part of my happy moments or a picnic spot but also a place which I would prefer to go
when I look for solace in solitude. As a kid going to beach is the best most lovable outing. The walk in the sand and to play
in the shore with the wild waves trying to drag us and we (Me and my sis ) holding on to our dad. I just love to play in
water. The thrill the excitement and the happiness are just cannot be expressed in words. And same way, whenever am hurt or
whenever I have to make a decision, Its been always Marina. Standing and feeling the waves that touch your feet there is a
serene beauty in that and that atmosphere has helped me to calm me.
Today I am very much in need of that. Miss you Marina. Today I am feeling sad a no reason stupid sadness. I am just thinking
how powerful words are. They have the tendency to break you apart completely. And how very powerful the relationships we make
in our life are. I think human lives are bound by these relationships. And Love and affection is something that cannot be
hidden how muchever we try and when there is no reciprocation for it, they just break the heart rip the soul apart from our
heart and in the end we feel alien to ourselves.
The unconditional love we get from our parents, the protective pampering love of grand parents,the friendship that blossoms
with our siblings and the friendship we make with our peers and those teachers who touched our lives, our colleagues,
superiors, neighbours, the train mate, the room mate, the just look and smile acquaintance and the cousin less friends more
kind o feveryone that come in our lives touch our lives in some way or other and when they leave us it changes us in someway
or other.
Everyones life is bound by so many relationships. Some relationships stay forever. A friend who touch your heart in a way that you wish to preserve that relationship forever.And there are some relationships that break just by one wrong word uttered then it just makes us lose the faith in relationships.At times it happens with our most understanding and close relationships. And if you think about it, it just leaves me with a
feeling that..how uncertain are any relationship that we form in our life. It makes you feel that there is no such thing
called forever. Its very difficult to see people who live their lives in such a way that they do not want to hurt anyone at
all with their actions.
Why am I drifting to a different world when I started about Marina. Well coming back..again as a kid when we used to go to
Marina with dad and mom the best things I love are the merry go rounds, making of sand castle and OFCOURSE PLAYING IN THE
WATER. And also I just would love to collect sea shells and buy the bajjis (oil dripping) and kucchi ice (ice cream stick)
there. But my dad will never allow to buy anything there becuase he was to the core protective of us. He would give reasons
that they are made of bad oil , impure water etc etc. Now thinking about it that time I used to feel so bad about it that he
is not buying them for me.. But now am sure I would not let my daughter too to go and eat those things there. First sign of
getting old may be :). And going to beach with friends or alone is impossible and not allowed. Now where is the fun if you
dont break rules :).
The first time I went to Marina alone is because of ammamma. Actually am a bit too emotional and sensitive kind of a person.And at times actually most of the times the person with whom am so close and so comfortable and become very emotionally
involved will leave me. I used to have lots of friends around always. But only with one or two I was really close.And the time when a friend becomes my best friend..is the time they would leave me also..either they would levae the school
or go to different state or whatever or I would leave to different place.So when I had to leave my college to join bank I was totally totally upset more importantly about missing my friend.And when I came back for holidays sometimes it does happen that out of sight out of mind with some. It felt really so bad that someone else had taken my place for my best friend. It might seem silly but it did hurt me a lot. And I was talking to ammamma and she told something about beach and I just left to Marina beach all alone. I was not doing anything. I was just sitting letting the waves to take away my sadness without thinking anything. And really i did feel relaxed. Well that is when I decided that I guess probably for the third time already that I would never get involved emotinally with any relationship and get hurt or get myself feel sad.And now after 10 years am still the same :) no change at all.
Well like wise I have been to Marina stealthily with friends and alone when I had to take a decision of quitting SBI and joining Covansys, When I had to convince my parents about my first onsite trip, when my grand ma expired, when my friends mom left her and wow so many times :) and it never failed me. Always when I return from the beach even if am not fully recovered it still does help to calm me down.
Well Today...I miss Marina. I am sure am not in a right state of mind right now. But I definitely have to write something just about Marina.