Raksha Bandhan - Part 3

Well..the D day is tomorrow...Am going to see Maddy... Not really sure what exactly am feeling...it's a complete mixture of nervousness, excitement and anxiety... 3 in 1...

Shalu... Come and select one...that's my amma.. She seemed to be more worried than me..she had kept 10 different sarees with jewellery set...
Shaluma...choose what you want to wear tomorrow...
Amma...please no sarees u know very well I feel uncomfortable...already am kind of feeling uncomfy abt the whole thing ..
Shalu ... U have to wear saree... U will look good...listen to me da
Even before I could protest Pranav came home... Mom... Urgent filter coffee pl..
He looked at me and laughed what is all this exhibition....have you decided to scare the poor soul...
Come on da Anna ... As if I want to!!!
Ok listen put all these things away...wear the same salwar that you wore on that wedding...
Brilliant !!!!! I think that's better...
Pranav smiled at me... Hey Shalu don't worry too much :-)
Now I felt better too..
Dei Pranav... Can I ask u something..
What da...
Why r u being so nice to me suddenly... R u ok?? Its boring without fighting with u...
He smiled and touched my hair ..Shalu..Madhan is in Banglore... I guess I have already started missing u.. So don't want to fight...but of course I love fighting with u too
He left gulping the coffee that mom gave but then even I felt that strange ache in the heart...
Time ticked away quite fast... We were waiting in the temple for Maddy's family...for a change even Pranav Was dressed decently...after around 15 minutes when Pranav was visibly getting irritated they came and I saw him .... Is this what u call dumbfounded!!! He was looking verrrryyyyyyyy handsome much much better than what he looked in pic ... Honestly even better than how Karthi( u know the movie actor Surya's bro!!!)...Pranav murmured to me.. Hello.... Close your mouth!!!
After basic exchange the elders ha ha I am including Pranav in the list asked me n Maddy to go around the temple and talk to each other!!!!
Honestly I felt very shy... Me n my Maddy started to go around the temple all in silence... I thought he will speak but he was also quite... Or may be is he shy or did he not like me... Various thoughts revolved around me...
Then he said Hi Shalini... I said you can call me Shalu.. People close to me call me like that... The minute I said that I felt embarrassed OMG what would he think of me!!!!
He smiled n said first of all I am very sorry!!!!
And I need to talk to you seriously!!!
My god is he another version of Pranav...
I said am listening...
Ok he said.. See there has been a confusion... I saw a girl in red dress in Arjun's wedding... And my parents misunderstood that it was you.. When they told me they have spoken to the girls parents and have arranged a meeting I didn't even ask them your name or even your photo... I was so excited I thought I should personally talk to her after this meeting...only after I saw you here I realised they made a mistake.. It was really a love at first sight.. Hope u understand ... I am really sorry!!!!
I can't even put it in words how ashamed I felt... I had almost imagined this stranger in front of me as mine...I broke down and with tears literally ran towards my big brother Pranav who was looking at me from far...

Raksha Bandhan - Part 2

Madhan... Well name sounds ok...May be I can give a pet name Madu...yuck sounds more feminine... Well ya I can call him Maddy...like my fav hero...
His looks..Actually ya he looks good...like boy next door...like u know surya,s brother..the minute u look at him u feel protective of him...so not bad looking at the pic I kind of liked him..well when it comes to my looks I guess God got confused whether I should be made beauty or beast and made me in between..a very plain looking ... My only forte is my enthusiasm n my brains which is inside..and so u can not like me by just looking at me.. U need to talk to me..
Wait a sec.. Oh my God which pic of mine did amma gave to Madhan.. Oh God rejection is on itself a pain and to be rejected by this so called Madhan for a reason which is totally not under my control my looks sounded so cruel...
Ammmmaaaaa!!!!! I screamed which pic of mine u gave to the guy....
Even before my mom could say something Pranav intervened....
Amma.. She is right...Even am worried now... What would happen if Madhan is weak hearted!!! What I'd he gets scared or if he gets depression... Oh no!!!!!
Deiiiiiii Anna !!!! I wish I could use all bad words on Pranav but that could wait now....
Amma!!!! Tell please...
By then Pranav literally pulled my hand and took me to my room...
Hey Nutcase sis ... Listen now..Madhan had seen you in our cousins wedding ... He got impressed with your over enthu talking , dancing and sense of humour... I guess he didn't realise that it was not sense of humour but you actually are mad ;-)...
I was surprised!!! What !!! Are you really telling the truth???
Yes my dear Shailu :-)
By then I felt good about myself... It feels nice when someone unknown to you starts liking u :-) and I guess I started liking my Maddy more :-)
Now stop blushing ... Smiled my brother!!!
For a change I need to talk to you seriously ...
Now I was more surprised... In my entire life time Pranav had spoken something serious only twice.. First time when he had to console me for not getting Engineering and second time when he made me do MCA regular course...So this is the third time and for a change I listened to him..
He put his hands around me in a very protective way and started telling me .. Shalu ... See don't get into emotions like waw he loves me and I like him and all that... U r going to complete MCA this year.. U have already got a Job thru placement.. So think well.., talk to the guy and his parents and only if you like him and his family we will proceed.. See tomorrow evening they are coming to temple and we too will go there so you both can meet and we can meet his family ... Mom n dad might hurry things up but remember jokes apart ur brother is always forever there for you... So I will support you in every step of your life and I don't Want my Sis to worry for anything ok... He gave me a hug and left...
I guess I even saw some tears in his eyes...I felt like a little girl holding on to her big brother... There were tears even in my eyes ...
Wow :-) I could never be more happy .. First came to know my Maddy likes me... Oh God what's happening I guess am already falling in love with him and second ... My brother Pranav his care and love ...I never realised he cared so much... And there is so much love hidden beneath all those fights :-)....
My girl friend Shalu will u even bother to show me ur Madhan photo ... Am already jealous of him ... That's my granddad...
Smiling I went near him thinking why need a sis when you have such a loving brother :-)
To be continued...

Raksha Bandhan - Part 1

Dei..Anna...Wake Up Where is my gift. I was screaming on top of my voice and literally was jumping on my still sleeping brother. I know he will wake up scream, scold and definitely going to punch me.

Well before I go on, let me take a break and give you a brief note about me and my family. I am Shalini (everyone calls me shalu) doing my final year MCA and already got a job through placement.And have one brother Pranav three years elder to me working in IT. Mom Lakshmi house wife and dad Raghu working in central government and my grand dad who pampers me the most. My day always starts with a small or big fight with my brother , a minimum of two to three curses from mom, angry look from my dad and a loving hug and support from my grand dad. So far life has been smooth and well when you get so much love and affection at home why do you have to search for love outside so..no love no boy friends..Thats me..Today is Raksha Bandhan a big event at my home since my mom also got three brothers and me got Pranav to Bug :-). So am late already let me go and trouble him.

Pranav!!!!!!!!! WAKE UP...WHERE IS MY GIFT!!!!! (For last 22 years I dont know how he manages to give me a Rakhi gift which I absolutely would not like). Let me see today. I too have made a Rakhi with big rose flower and yellow thread..Impossible for him to wear and go to work ;-). Dei Pranav Wake up wake up where is my gift.

Hey Shalu!!! you woke up

..first tie me Rakhi dear then I will gift you.

For a second I was shocked. Is that Pranav talking like that. Is he okay? Before I could recover from the shock..it was my mom.

Pranav..What happened why are you scolding Shalu even today. Shaluma..what happened da..

Hey Shalu. You woke up. Lakshmi first you go and bring nice filter coffee for her...Shalu ma..go da..first you brush, have coffee take bath and then tie Rakhi for your brother. Pranav..you also get ready fast how long you will make Shalu wait for you.

I think am going to faint now. Whats wrong with everyone.

Pranav!!!! I called my brother.

Yes da Shalu. what happened?

Pranav...Am I going to die of brain tumor or any cancer or anything.

Stupid Shalu. Shut up. Why are you blabbering such things on a good day.

Then..Whats wrong why are you all behaving like so different to me.

Shalu Nothing like that..I have a surprise for you. First you tie me Rakhi.

Finally after prayers all my uncles also had come. Mom tied Rakhi for her brothers(my uncles). Everyone were happy and I did tie the big pink ugly Rakhi to my brother Pranav..and he said thanks..!!!! Thanks!!! whats wrong with him..then I told him..okay I never expected such Gandhian expression from you. I removed that big pink Rakhi and tied the good one I had actually got for him.

He smiled and said okay now ..this is my gift for you..Come out..

I cant believe my eyes..It was the scooty I was asking dad for long...

Wow!!!!!!!! I cant believe this...

Pranav smiled and said..Compensation for last 22 years of bad gifts :-).

I couldnt control my excitement and started to college forgetting the morning events.

The answer to the suspense came within 2 days. It was Mom who broke the news to me. Shaluma..we have seen a groom for you. He is also working for IT and very soft natured. His family also is good. He is the only son.

Mom!! Does he have a name..

Oops..sorry he is Madhan..I will bring his photo to you. They are coming to see you tomorrow. No compulsion. You see the guy and if you like him then we will proceed.

Mom left me in my room alone with the photo of this guy called Madan. I wish I had a sister. To be continued.

Those small acts of kindness

Those small acts of kindness     Amidst the crowd   Ur caring eyes Always Tells me   I am there for you When I panic   When I get lost When I lose hope   U r there to hold Be it busy mornings  Or those lazy lunch break Be it freezing cold   U reserve " had ur food" words for me When it rains or shines   Or cold or hot Time loses priority   U do anything for me The caring look, The concern u pour, The smiles we share, Those small acts of kindness, Adds big life to those passing days

F1

Well definitely not about F1 race. F1 - Help..which also as a short key has become short.The best happiness lies in helping someone may be a stranger who is in need. Day before when I was walking towards home saw a old man carrying so many bags in the signal.Thought I will help him in carrying those bags. But now the world has become such a place that even if you offer help people might doubt you..what if she ran away with my bag :-). But somehow he accepted. He said he is going to Faith clinic which is opposite to my house. He said he is 80 and his vision is getting dim each passing day. He was having trouble conversing in English and started to tell something in chinese which I literally didnt understood. We reached the clininc and after he registred I wanted to go home. The clinic was full and am sure it would take anouther 1 and half hour. Its already late and my 3 year old will be waiting for me at home. My heart was requesting me to stay there and take the old man back but I couldnt do it because Anannaya will be waiting for me. And no charge in my mobile to call and tell home that i will be late. I told in the counter about the old man. She gave me a strange look and said she will take care. I told bye to him. He smiled and said thank you dear.

But somehow I felt incomplete. It felt bad that I couldnt do much to help him and may be like him so many people whom I could never help.Not only to strangers even some time to close relatives and bestest friends because of our situation we are not able to help and it feels worse. What is the poin of life if you cant help who are close to our heart. Really hate those kind of situations which in the end makes you feel awful..and which even kind of strains the relationship.

I once was talking to my uncle when I was really down because of this and was like about to cry that I am not a good friend am not able to help them and whatever I do to help is like peanuts when compared to what others are doing. I was telling that it feels like am giving lame excuses.

Then he told me a small story. When Rama wanted to cross lanka he wanted to build a bridge and the huge vanara seva was there helping him to construct the bridge. There was a little squirrel who wanted to help too but couldnt help because of its size. When it carried some sand to fill in the stones the monkeys there scolded him saying he is actually disturbing instead of helping :-). Its like stay away thats the best help you could offer.

The squirrel felt sad and then Rama who observed it took the squirrel in hand and told the monkeys that..how muchever stones you put in..in between there is a gap which gets filled by the sand the squirrel brings in. So never degrade anyone who comes to help by putting their heart into it. Then he carressed the squirrle and thats how squirrels got those three lines which are actually Ramas fingers.

Well It did help to lift my mood up. Ya sometimes life puts us in very different circumstances and people that..we are not able to do what our heart says. Kind of tied up situation. But I guess I should always try to follow what my heart says if it doesnt hurt people around.

Help Ever. Hurt Never.

Relaxed....

The last one week was like roller coaster ride. Fever up...Fever Down..n No Sleep...Just Tired...But from Friday eve..it was different..Friday around 8:30 I came down and was waiting for cab..No cab..so started walking and it was drizzling with a cool breeze..But somehow didnt feel like walking alone so I went back to office called a cab and took cab home..And then great time started..

When I went home my daughter had already finished her dinner and was still playing. I took bath came out and had hot dinner..reading a novel..AFter I finished my dinner..my darling princess wanted to watch krishna CD with me.So I was lying down in the sofa along with her...she watching Krishna and me reading novel..wow..for a change without disturbance. Around 11 she slept and I was still reading..I finished the book around 12:30..it was still raining and I went to sleep.

It was like college and pre marriage days..where I open a novel..and i will be in a different world till I close it. But after marriage..you cant afford that..so many times you will have to close the book to cook or to answer your hubby and after kids..well..they become our priority.

So I really felt good that I was able to complete..it..and then went to sleep..I woke up at around 7:30..but still wanted to sleep..so I just hugged my daughter and went to sleep again..Cant believe my luck that..she was still sleeping..Finally I woke up around 9:50 am..thats again a lottery :-) and i was so relaxed..and she woke up around 10:15
Then I made my fav dosa..a new variety of dosa..had it..and had tea..and again lucky..my daughter insisted that she will eat on her own..and she did too.

It was 11 then..and had to go to shop to buy water purifier..So we left to the shop..and got some tempted seeing Harry potter poster..and never imagined we would get tickets..we just walked to the theater..to see if we will get tickets and again.it was 11:45 and tickets were availabel for 11.50...so we got it..and went and watched the movie..

Back home around 3:30.had food..and went to sleep..and woke up at 7:00 pm :-) Again dinner session and around 9:30 there was a tamil movie kullanari kootam..never expected seeing the name that it would be a okay movie..but it was a nice clean movie..

So over all a great day..went to sleep at 12:30 and just woke up..and am blogging..;-)

Hope the day continues this way..but lots of work to do(Office pending stuff)...Let me clear it..off.now.

Have a nice day everyone.

Where did Every one go?

Monday started with no blues and with full of life. No morning tensions at home. Reached office on time ;-) and started work. EVerything seemed so perfect. But then..now a days..getting into off mood is the easiest thing that occurs so naturally to me. So evening dont know what triggered my mood off..but the minute I was in a bad mood, I attracted things which could spoil my mood even worse.

So suddenly in the evening..i felt desperately lonely...needed a shoulder to cry on..and ofcourse didnt want to hear any advises. And then I thought I will call home..My home number..guess my daughter did not keep the receiver properly so not reachable. Then I called my college friends. .you dont have to keep in touch with them but still can catch up with good old times whenever you call them. For a change..everyones number I had..and every ones mobile was ringing..no one picked up...Whats wrong..

Then I called up my uncle..thinking may be i could talk to him to change my mood..but same story...phone ringing no one picking up..

Finally I called up my cousin....who was very busy and asked me to call tomorrow..And after I disconnected I felt very lonely..but by then I reached home.

And when I entered there my princess..she was standing and telling some story to her aunty :-). She was holding a small dog (ofcourse toy..she is like me..in getting scared of dogs and cats) and telling her aunty..Aunty you mix milk for the doggy..what the dog name i kept.i forgot..ya ya timmy..you mix milk put three full spoons of pediasure okay..mix properly okay otherwise timmy will not drink...and then seeing the expression of her aunty...she turned back to see me..and came running and gave a hug ammmmma...you are home..see ammma..timmy not drinking milk..what do now? Seeing her face full of innocence...and the way a three year old speaks..it just filled the heart with happiness..

So what did I say..mood off..who got mood off...

By the way..where did everyone go..Was it some earth hour or something yesterday that everyone decided not to pick up their call????!!!!

I AM TIRED..

Someone Asked..Hey Are You Ok?
And I replied..Yes I am OK. Just TIRED..little bit...

So What I meant is..I am
Torn apart,Insecured,Really Faking my smile,Extremely Sad and Drowning in my own tears..

And if you ask me Why...I would reply..I really dont know.

Actually physical activities make you tired but then the recovery from that tiredness could just be a good rest..a good sleep..you wake up and you are perfectly fine and even active..

But its the state of our mind which keeps us active or tired. When you do something you really love to do..or enjoy doing it with people whom you love to be with...then any kind of activity may never make you tired.

But at the sametime if you are stressed out..I dont know..how all kinds of problems gets a hint that one person is stressed out , so lets go visit him and reaches us as quick as possible and wait in queue to say a hello to us. And it adds more stress to decide which one of the problems to address first.

Sometimes we always keep expecting more from some people in our lives probably because we also would do them more. Sometimes certain situations comes up which puts you in a totally helpless state and all you can give the other person is some excuse. Sometimes in life we dont know what is the right thing to do and end up doing something which might lead to a big change.

Whenver we do any plan using our brain..especially in my case with the limited access I have with my brain..we tend to forget to have a mitigation plan because of the interupption or risk to our plan caused by our heart.

Wow.How can someone blabber so much early in the morning...

Well Like I said..I AM TIRED..really...

At some point of time when you are very very tired..probably it might lead to a state of mind where you dont care about anything..anyone..and start losing your cool and start yelling at people for no reason..which I just did... Thankfully got back to my senses in few minutes...and had the courage to call that person back and tell sorry too.

So well..now am in a great mood..and you can talk to me at your own risk :-).

My Dear Ammamma.

Life sometime becomes too hectic that we forget what we are looking for, what is the priority and infact at times to some extent that the mere purpose of living is forgotten. April 29th 2010. That is the last time I spoke to my ammamma..and I lost Ammamma the same day last year.Actually that incident is something which reminds me of what difference one day coul'd make.
I spoke to her and supposed to meet her the next day and unfortunately couldnt meet her.

Ammamma...Every time I think about her, I still feel her presence.The last time I had seen her was in November in 2009. Though her birthday was on 18th of November, still we celebrated it when I was in chennai. She was still carrying her camera and taking photos of us. She did cake cutting and fed all of us. After that we all had dinner together. I sat with her. Anannya also was there with me. It just kind of still feel as if it had happened yesterday.


Throughout my days in Desur, she was with me. We were more friends than a grand daughter - mom relationship. I was able to share with her everything..every fear , every hope and every dream. Really now if I sit back and think I had never realized how much she had been a close friend rather than my granny. She was an amazing cook. With literally very little kind of things available she could cook great and yummy dishes. Not only patience but also she was equally bold. Very Bold.
She was taking tuition classess in Desur. If there had not been an accident, we would have probably stayed together for even more time. One small accident, I became adamant of sending her back to Chennai. Literally she sacrificed her tutitions which was actually her passion..just to be with me to guide me and to support me in joining SBI. The life there was actually simple. How many nights we would have had our dinner in terrace. How many nights we would have spent sitting in terrace and talking to each other endlessly. How many stories she would have told me sitting in the terrace. About her life, about her past and also about epics..so much of minute details she could fill in from Mahabarath, Ramayana and Bhagavatham. Really it was a golden period of my life which I never realized.

Yes...sometimes we understand the value of certain moments after its ended and after realizing that it will never happen again. And that is how it feels about Ammamma. She is really really great. She was always confident and very bold. Self respect matters a lot. I am missing you a lot Ammamma.

Wish I could spend some more time with you.Wish atleast once I could have brought you to singapore.

Right now ammamma wish you were near me..so I could talk to you..from my heart.

Ammamma..Right now..

She goes through each day, With a smile on her face
She holds herself well, With much poise and grace
She laughs and she smiles, She seems so happy and free
But deep deep inside, There’s something no one can see
When you look at her you think, She has must have everything
But you’ll never know, The song she must sing
Its one filled with grief, Lonely and sad
You cant see the loss, The horrid experiences she had
So while you see laughter, When you look into her eyes
Its just her way to hide, All the tears she has cried
She goes through the same, Time after time
She watches everyone’s happy ending, Wondering where’s mine


I am in tears now ammamma..thinking of you..missing you and needing you.

The Cup Of Pride

It was one of those WOW Moments. Eyes were glued to the television and the heart skipped a beat when Dhoni played the perfect captains knock and hit the ball to SIX and wow...India won the World cup after the long wait of 28 years..:-). The Golden Moment :-):-):-) Cant put enough smileys....

It was not only a perfect gift for we the Indians but indeed the most deserving gift to Sachin who has been waiting for this since 1992.

This time right from quarters it was all a tough match. The quarter finals with Australia...Semis with Pakistan which almost was like world cup final and then came the final with Srilanka. When India lost the toss...ooooppsssss...it felt awful and almost took half the confidence away. But when Srilanka made a score of 275 it still gave some hope..Hope that now still we have a chance to win.

Actually this time we had some friends at home..and we had called our friends to see the India - Pakistan Match => The semis. As everyone is aware this match meant more than the finals at that moment. And wow...it was an amazing performance from our bowlers and we won. So we wanted to make sure that the luck works..and so the same gang of people sat together for the finals. One side our kids were shouting hurray..out and all kinds..and other side we were all fighting. In the semis..one of our friends..used to get some production support call and whenever he went out getting a call Pakistan was losing a wicket..and so we tried the same for finals..but it didnt work..and the luck was bad for me..whenever I was sitting in front of TV India was losing the wicket..so i almost was sitting alone in my bedroom and was checking scores in i phone..whenever out of curiosity i came out..we lost Tendulkar,Virat kohli and then..finally when Dhoni and Gambhir was playing..i thought its okay to come and see..but the minute i came out..Gambhir was gone..i still feel guilty as if he missed his century becoz of me ;-).
Finally I came out only for Dhonis six :-).

Though there is lots to write about Tendulkar, Yuvraj, Zaheer khan, Harbajan and everyone who are part of the team my heart indeed keeps replaying Dhonis six. He has been a wonderful captain and especially in the match that was full of pressure..and with lots of expectations all over, a stadium full of crowd waiting for the golden moment...he handled it in a great manner.

A good leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way..and that was Dhoni..:-)

Really hats off to Dhoni and his team for giving India the long awaited Cup of Pride.

Jai Hind.

I love you.

Its the small things that actually fill the heart with bliss. We keep worrying about all big things that we forget to enjoy all those small moments.

Today I was playing with my daughter and then I was trying to put her to sleep. But my mind was totally pre occupied with work. I was just thinking so deeply on how to do and what to do and when to do on work related items. Though I was there physically with my daughter my mind was not there. Then she asked me to sing for her.Well no one except my daughter has the courage to ask me to sing and listen to my songs also :-).

Then I started humming songs for her still all the way thinking about work, work and work. And after sometime I was like losing patience also. When she would sleep and when I can login? Then while I was still singing..she suddenly said..
Amma..I love you.

Wow. That was worth more than anything in life. Suddenly life felt blessed. It felt like those words suddenly brought me back to the present. Oops. I already spend very little time with her and even during that time If my mind is occupied with something else..its an injustice :-(.

How nice it is if we learn to and able to live each and every moment and enjoy that very moment. Easily said than done. So well my darling princess indeed made my day with a sudden surprise of those words and it really felt so nice.
Now I put her to sleep...till that time I spent quality time with her. And then logged back..to work..but at the same time wanted to log it in my blog as well.

All that matters is simple moments, love, care, understanding...and then..life is bliss. Well its just a matter for 2 weeks for valentines day as well.
So tell your loved ones..that you love them and mean it...it makes wonders to those who love you.

Love All;Serve All;

And its okay to say I LOVE YOU as many times as you want as long as you mean it. No one gets bored to hear it ..alteast women dont get bored to hear that they are being loved :-).

Anannyas Sports Day

After long time A sports day. For a change not as a student or a participant but as a parent. It was really indeed one of the most wonderful days of our life.
And it was so nostalgic and I was actually thinking of my dad.

The day started at around 6:30 am. I woke up and was admiring my daughter for sometime and then saw the time it was 6:45 . Oops..8 am her bus will come. And then came the shock...Her shoes :-). Any important day in my life will always start with some shock and there it was. Her shoes were literally wet...dripping with water since our maid washed it. And then no choice..her dad had to literally drive to Mustafa as fast as possible to buy new shoes. well her first sports day cant take any chances :-). And that reminded me of my dad..how many events..and how many times he would have gone to shops or to friends house for getting all those which we forget in the last minute.

Then Anannya was also as excited as me for her sports day and without troubling much she was ready by 8. Her bus and her dad came at the same time and fastet fingers first..I put her shoes in that speed when she was in the school bus. And then started my princess.

And then we went to GIIS stadium. It was kinder garden sports day. Kids in yellow,blue and red sports uniform. The stadium looked so colorful as if we were standing in a butterfly garden. It was really such a wonderful sight. And it was cloudy..everyone there worried if it would rain but thanks to Rain God. It was cloudy and a good weather with no rain. A perfect sports day and a perfect start.

Small kids did march past which was a feast to the eyes. Those little kids with little steps. And then started the colour ful sports event with KG childern doing gymnastics..Wow!!!!

Then there was race...It was lovely watching Anannya running taking a stuffed toy and putting the toy back in a basket. And the wonderful thing is prizes were awarded to each participants. No Differentiation. Each one won a medal with a smile in their faces.

And then there was race for paretns. 400m running for fathers. I just couldnt stop laughing seeing the dads run. Most of them were like jogging. And then there was a race for mothers which was lucky round race. Anyways only Anannya got a medal :-).

It was a gala event and watching sports day as a parent is indeed a different kind of feeling. And there were proud moments to see our small darling daughter doing march past, participating in race and getting a medal. Just Amazing and brought in lots of nostalgia too :-).

Muje Rula diya woh...

The last three days.

After a really tiring day reached home on Thursday night hoping that a hug from my little princess will make everything okay. But she was down with fever and rash. I literally rushed to the opposite clinic and they asked me to take her to KK children hospital.The irony is that..its in Emergency section that it takes so much time to see the doctor. I was not able to carry her because in any way I carry she was feeling discomfort. I really missed the presence of my hubby.

Generally if my daughter is unwell he will be the cool head one trying to play with her and make her cheerful when all I do is to hug her and feel worried to death. I was trying really hard to keep my cool and trying to cheer her up. Finally after seeing the doc at around 11:15 I reached home at 11:45 with her. There were my friends who called me and gave me all the support.

As if the problem was not enough I started feeling really giddy in the cab. Probably because of the tiredness and since I kind of was fasting the whole day. I really dont know how I managed to reach home. Thank God.

These three days kind of have given me the realization of how much it is important for us to be healthy so that we can take care of our family. Its all a wrong timing that at the same time I had also got fever and I didnt know whether it might go to her.

The first week 2011

New Year indeed started with Wow!!! The count down and fire works at Marina bay was a feast for eyes. Our cousin also joined us and Anannya also enjoyed it. But after the day dawned wow..it already feels as if a year had passed by. So many things in just one week that I didnt find time to do any of the activities I had planned as part of New Year Resolutions.

One good thing is about our daughter having joined the Indian school (To write about it I definitely need a seperate post otherwise I wouldnt be doing justice to it) and the value add it had given is now no choice have to wake up early. So the last few days the moring reminds me of my school days...were my mom used to wake up early put rangoli take bath do pooja and when she wakes me up she would be fresh and the house will be filled with the aroma of incense sticks and some devotional song. Now our mornings are like the same and am blessed that my daughter is so eager to go to the new school that she didnt trouble much about brushing her teeth taking bath and eating breakfast. And I too feel really blessed now I have a chance again to do all these things myself. The joy of doing all this to our kid as a mom is indeed a bliss.

Apart from that the rest of my days so far was too much occupied with things happening at work. Mostly work related stress, I avoid carrying it home not to mess with the very few hours of am getting with my daughter and with my hubby. But somehow things at work is the only thing my mind is always pre-occupied with. Thinking about it again and again..replaying it again and again and again.

There is a saying..You dont have to always wait to learn from your mistakes, sometimes you can learn it from others mistakes as well. And I fall into the category where I dont learn from my mistakes itself. Well as long as you keep thinking with heart this problem will never get resolved and the lesson is never going to be learnt.

In the end there is one life and what comes as the priority is purely an individuals choice...Wow its so easy to write this. But with practical problems and in reality how difficult it is to follow it and to decide on our priority. At times the items that are least priority becomes a number 1 priority to us and we cant do much about it.


So ....New Year..New Beginning But Same Old Stories...!!!

What cannot be cured must be endured???!!!!

Happy New Year - Year 2011

Wishing You All A Very Happy and Fab New Year.

I wish and hope year 2011 will bring in lots of happiness, lots of love and brings some dreams into reality and add more meaning to life. I wish year 2011 brings peace and love to everyone and spreads happiness to everyone.

Year 2010. Well A recap is definitely needed otherwise how would we ever learn the lessons taught by the greatest teacher...Life.

2010 had been a year with good and bad, glad and sad moments. It was filled with love, friendship,happiness, excitements, disappointments, kodak moments and a grief a loss that could never be replaced with anything. At the end of all these, I would say that, I have become slightly more a little bit matured and slightly more (may be a micron???!!) responsible. Ofcourse it has also made me hyper tensed and my temper reaches the Evert Peak within seconds. In the end, I had learnt few things which I would like to tell myself again through this blog so I dont end up forgetting it.

Well High chance to forget because I never have the patience to read what I have written. And before I go to that, this year the first two days have already gone and I havent broken any of my resolutions yet :-)
(Ssshhhh!!!! I havent yet taken my resolution) Does that mean I have become more lazier by the end of 2010.

Okay coming back to the Lessons Learnt

I have learnt that its the simple things in life that fills our heart with immense happiness...A small hug, a good night kiss, To hear I love you from your loved ones,
To watch your kid sleeping comfortably, Giving gift to someone and watch them opening it with surprise,buying tissue paper from the old aunty near office and near MRT and watching their kodak smile, a thirty second prayer to God in solitude, Love of parents, a long distance call from a best friend,a lively chat,moments with friends, playing in rain and in water etc etc.

I have learnt that no matter how much you try if someone decided to blame you they would blame you anyways good or bad whatever it is.

I have learnt that even if you win an argument you actually dont win anything.

I have learnt that there is no forever in Love. Time and Circumstance has the power to change anything..Just Anything.

I have learnt that unconditional love do exists no matter what.

I have learnt that every second you spend with your kids are indeed the golden moments of life

I have learnt that some people would hate you anyways no matter what you do. So Ignore them anyways.

I have learnt that words are indeed powerful. They have the ability to pierce a heart and break into million pieces. And they do have the power to set it right once again though the crack still remains forever.

I have learnt that silence is golden. Trust Me.

I have learnt that for some are either destined with or blessed by only solitude. Do you know you can be lonely even in a crowd.

I have learnt that, its difficult only for the first few minutes to try and laugh when inside you feel like screaming and crying for help. And its better to share our happiness with others and not to share our pain with anyone. Everyone has only one life why spoil some moment of others life by our sadness.

I have learnt that Love is the healer of all pain followed by Time.

I have learnt that some lossess can never be avoided and the grief stays and oops it never goes away with time. Especially losing a loved one.

Actually the list goes on but am sleepy.

I am yet to take my new year resolutions. May be to take new year resolution should have been my resolution.

Year 2010 I had lost my ammamma. But she still stays alive in my thoughts and I still do talk to her in my most lonely moments. Are you listening ammamma.

After 14 years this year there was no new year celebration in Chennai. Feel sad about it actually.

Well coming to the glad moments, Anannya started her schooling in 2010 and completed her pre nursery graducation ceremony in December!!!! That was just a wow moment.

Well now. Bye Bye 2010.
Welcome 2011 and when you come(you already have come) but still bring in lots of good moments every second for the whole year!!!

I am a Mom

And The Day Starts and Ends with...

Wake up Darling..
Wake up now..
Brush your teeth.
Dont eat without brushing.
No choclates...
Come back sit in sofa and watch the TV..
Eyes..will spoil..come back..
Dont cry for everything
If you cry you are not getting it
Bite and eat
Please bite and eat
BITE NOW..
Come take bath
Dont drink that water
Dont run without dressing up
Go to restroom before we start
Please go
Now
Can you hold
Dont touch it
Be careful
Drink milk
Come give me a kiss
I need a hug NOW
Story time
Dont run so fast
No.Dont say that.
Ask Daddy
Stop whining
Stop crying
Dont throw the mobile down
Sleeping Time
Good Night Dear
No jumping on the bed
Dont shout
Okay sweetu sleep now :-)
.....And it still goes on and on and on..

Pushpa

It was one of those nights when sleep seem to become a stranger and thoughts drift to the past. Sometimes we are blessed with the relationship of few people who make our lives better and when they leave us we are no longer the same and we miss them.

Pushpa. I dont know whether I have to call her as my friend or a sister or what name to give that relationship. I know she is one person who would do anything..just anything for my sake.

It was in my 11th standard that I met Pushpa in GSPT school. I was in a depressed mode that time because of Vanitha and also because of changing the school etc...etc..and a new life came in the name of shuttle badminton :-). That is when I saw Pushpa. After myself getting selected in the school team , I had a oppurtunity to choose a team of Juniors and I met Pushpa.

I found her playing wow..infact better than me..Amazing she was in playing shuttle. Not only that, I have never seen someone who take everything so easy...Forever laughing and forever making fun...of herself and others..Every moment I spent with her was fun and fun.

I dont know why..and I dont know when and I really dont know what the reason is that she became so close to me. She probably is the only one to whom I have never expressed how much she mean to me and what I consider of her. She is also the one whom I have taken for granted...taken for granted considering her as part of my family..as my sister.

The innocence in her...especially I have to narrate one incident here..It was my sisters school annual day. She was performing in school in a dance programme. And I asked Pushpa if she too want to come and see. The only differnece is that, the next day Pushpa had her public exam and I really was not expecting her to come. But there she was prompty on time..and I couldnt believe that she had come..and she came just because I asked her to come. Throughout the programme she was enjoying but I was in hyper tension knowing very well that she has absolutely not prepared for the exam.


Like wise there were so many stories to share..She keep calling herself..en rosapoo neratthukku enna avaradu...our filter coffee sharing sessions...the exam moments..the terrace moments..my wedding,my sis wedding...well almost every moment every precious moment in chennai for me..she has been part of it. Sad that she never recognized what she means to me.

Pushpa..If I think of her even now it brings a smile..for all the good moments we shared. Now I am not in touch with her. But sincerely praying God that she should be happy healthy and forever keep that smile which is her trade mark.

Meetings and Parting are happenings of the world. And I hope we would meet soon to share some good old moments.

I am still here.

Its been a really long time since I wrote and today when I wanted to write surprisingly I saw a comment asking me why no posts. There were lot of things that happenned in the last few weeks about which I wanted to share a lot many. First of all our trip to India,trip to Basara, My parents sashtiapoorthy, Back to Singapore,Challenges in the work place,my daughters graduation..ha ha she is only 3..but still..and
A friends sudden illness and the shock etc etc.

But well now this note probably is just a start to let everyone know..Please dont think that I have stopped blogging :-)

Well now what I am writing is not about any of the above what I had mentioned. Thoughts were pouring on these subjects but I didnt have time well thats an excuse..I didnt have energy may be or even the patience to sit and pen them down. But now I found time but didnt want to write about any of these.

So this post is just a mini micro post to say Hi..I am here..and sure would write soon.

Just Too Shocked.to

Its been a long time for my standards since I wrote. I was about to write about chennai times, about ammamma, about my parents shashtiyapoorthy etc etc but I was lazy still in the vacation blues. After reaching home, even if I wanted to write, I felt too tired by 10 or 10:30. Today too am tired..Too tired physically too as I am feeling bit feverish because of cough and cold. But I am still here writing as I am too disturbed on the news I heard from my friend.

My friends brother in law expired 2 weeks back and am just too shocked. Not that I know him personally or I am close to him for I dont even know who it is. But shocking is because on the realization of the fact that life is too uncertain.
He was at his early forties having a normal healthy family life with two kids. He was having some stomach pain but never took it so seriously and finally when it became worse aand he saw the doctor they diagnosed it as one kind of liver cancer in its advanced stage with pracitcally no treatment available. So within two days they sent him back home on his request. After the diagnosis he lived only for two weeks.
Two weeks..just fourteen days..I have seen such things in movie..but in reality..what would he do in just fourteen days..Will he have the time to express all his love to all his loved ones..Will he have time to spend and say all that he wanted to tell his kids..Will he have time to set a secured life to his kids..and his life partner.Will he have time to finish all the pending things that he wanted to complete..Will he have time to even cherish few of his dreams..or I want to do stuff...What would he even do...with all the pain and fear of death....Its so scary to even think about it.

How many things we store and keep like the best dress, the best jewellery, the dinner set...how many such reservations we have which are saved for the best ocassion...News like this...makes me feel that every day we live in itself is a special ocassion..Wow We are alive in itself calls for a celebration..May be it sounds too philosophical probably becoz am disturbed by this news..But still it feels right..how many days wasted with unwanted worries..grudges..expectations..etc..How many days wasted by useless arguments..
Why do people hate others..why do some talk in a way to hurt others.

Anyways am just too disturbed about it...and I feel more important in life is to start doing things that we love to do..and do it NOW..Lets not wait for a special ocassion for everything..instead..lets do it now...If you want to let someone know that they are special or you love them..say it now..If you want to give someone something...dont wait..give it now..If you want to cherish any of your dreams..dont reserve it for future..just do it now..

So let me stop here..with an advise to myself..may be..that DO IT NOW.