The Key Chain

The key chain sentiment



There is a saying (Really??!!!) that you should not be giving key chains and kerchiefs as gifts to your loved ones. I really dont know why. Have never done any research on that. But somehow it worked in my case. I have lost my very good friends very soon after a key chain incident. Today I was really thinking a lot about it.
May be this would give me a chance to think about all those events and to conclude may be its a sheer co-incidence or may be is it really some sentiment that works for me and sadly only for me.

It started with Vanitha. Vanitha became my best friend when I didnt even know the meaning of Friendship. I had joined 6th standard in a government school and somehow I was not happy. It was a big change for me to get moved from a CBSE school to government school. From a class of 26 to a class of 86. I was upset. And in our school there were 5 sections A and B used to be of English medium and the rest three are of tamil medium. Somehow there was a impression that tamil medium students are very different and not serious about studies. It is with this opinion I had met Vanitha.

I had joined Dance class in school. And when it came to a jadhi after that we were supposed to perform arangetram ie stage performance. Now that means investing 2000 rupees for costume, fees and stage etc. We were six students and when I was excited and went home I learnt from my grand ma that its going to be difficult for my dad to arrange money. I think thats a elder daughter syndrome I decided not to do arangetram. But still was going to the class.After the first few minutes of practise when we had to do the steps for arangetram my teacher used to ask me to step out as am not going to perform in stage. It felt really sad to stand apart and watch every one else dancing that every day ended up in tears. And then I met Vanitha. She was also standing next to me watching the steps and started talking to me.

Vanitha!!! As I write this tears are filling up my eyes and I dont know what should I write about her. She is such a gem of a person. From my 6th standard till my 9th standard she has been my good friend and the irony is that I realized she is my best friend only when I lost her. Well we started talking and her language was just wow for me. Though we dont sit in same class we used to meet in breaks and at time go home together. She would walk with me till the bus stop and then would leave.

Vanitha had a very difficult life. She had lost her mom and because of which her dad married another person. Her step mom treated her well but once she had a daughter of her own and honestly because of economic reasons she had put Vanitha in government school. Its like Vanitha moved from St.Johns to our school We studied in the best school. Though its a government school it had the best teachers and best infra strucutre. I belong to Lady Sivaswami and am so happy and blessed about it.
The one commonality we shared is that, we both moved from CBSE to state syllabus for some reasons which at that age we couldnt understand. Vanitha was very understanding very caring and very very very friendly to me. She would listen to me whatever crap I used to say. She used to motivate me in everything. It was nice having her around me.

In seventh standard is when I was sick frequently. Twice I had to get admitted in hospital for 2 months I had taken break and I didnt even get a chance to see Vanitha. When I came back to school she was there again. Because I couldnt join in dance or drama because of surgery she too didnt join. She would just sit with me. I remember once she was not feeling well and scored only 35 in science. I became so upset that I removed some sheets from my answer page and went and told my science teacher..Oops I forgot her name..lalithambal miss or someone and changed my 85 to 35.
The beatings I got from dad that day ooops...I can never forget. More than that..Vanitha felt very sad about me getting 35 that she didnt talk to me for few days. The one thing I learnt from her is her patience and endurance. It was obvious that she missed her mom and her step mom didnt much treat her well. But she would never complain would always carry a smile with her.

Then in ninth standard our friendship kind of grew strong but at the same time there were lots of difference. I was becoming crazy of IIT and science ofcourse partly because of her because she too had IIT craze. And my grand father expired which I couldnt take it and I cant believe even now the way me and Vanitha had discussed about Life after death on how to make the heart beat after it stopped beating. Is it possible to bring some pressure so many stupid discussions. we both stealthily go to the restricted sections also to see if there are any books on life after death. That is when we both have tried calling the medium etc...and all. Then started I should call it FATE that Nehru stadium was going to be inagurated and we had to participate in the inagural function. There were lots of practises on the exercise and performances which I joined and she didnt. I spent almost 4 to 5 months on that. We will come to school take a bus and go to stadium to pracitse. It was fun fun and only fun. I didnt even had time to miss her. Finally just 3 days before the inagural I had gone to school for taking up a mock test and got some time to see her. She was on leave and I heard that she was not well from her class mates. How sutpid I was that I never realized to even get her address.

But I was busy. And then when I saw her after all this chaos she was looking so pale and totally not well. March 13th..Her birthday..is when I gave her a key chain. It had initials of V and A. It was in a yellow bottle kind stuff. I had gifted her that with a card.

After that exams started. Annual exams started and I couldnt see her. I managed to find her friends just to know that she is not writing. i got really worried. But didnt know that time whom to contact or what happened to her. And last day after I had come out of social studies exam her friend came and told me that Vanithas mom is waiting for me. I had gone to see her and asked what happened. She just told me that Vanitha was not feeling well and she had already taken her TC and that she is no more. And she had mentioned my name to her step mom and asking her to tell me all the best and I am her best friend. She told this and left talking casually about other things.

I am not able to write also as I still feel the shiver. I dont have any memories or any pictures of her. I just remember walking towards the mylapore market road with tears in eyes. I remember directly going to t.nagar to my ammammas house. I was not used much to share any pain with my parents becoz I worried that they will get upset or hurt so instead I went to ammamma. I just stayed there with her. The summer holidays was a mess and I just couldnt come out of the whole mess. I really dont think I could actually write how important she was and how much she meant to me. And I still feel the guilt of not being with her when she has needed me the most without even realizing it.

That time I didnt realize anything. Later I couldnt even continue in that school that I changed my school never going even to the side of Mylapore. Its not that me and Vanitha were always together but still we shared some bond some kind of understanding and commonality. I dont feel like writing anymore about it.

By the way now am relating the key chain to this is actually I myself feel it has got nothing to do with my key chain. But after that with my other friends we have not become enemies but we had parted. Like either by changing jobs or changing countries and so proxmity was not there which indeed makes a person used to the other persons absence and so it makes you feel less need of that person and in the end the friendship that is called THE BEST FRIEND becomes to a HI BYE friend or probably one more friend.

I will continue this key chain sentiment in my next blog as I really need some time to come out of Vanithas memories.